Connie’s Corner

Only you can stop the Easter Slaughter

Posted by on Mar 20, 2013 in Featured, Uncategorized, What's New? | 0 comments

Only you can stop the Easter Slaughter

This is the Easter Bunny. It has a dark side; it eats kittens. Only by placing an order of Constance Cravings can you allay its terrible urgings for delicious kitten meat. For the sake of all that is furry and cute, please, place your order today!

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Cavalcade of Cookie Stars-Joel!

Posted by on Jun 18, 2012 in Uncategorized | 0 comments

Cavalcade of Cookie Stars-Joel!

This handsome fellow is Joel, standing erect with his namesake batch of cookies: Uncle Joel’s Sportin’ Lumber. Yes, he’s the proud papa of this new concoction: 5th Avenue candy bars chopped up and smooshed into the dough, French’s Potato Sticks smashed on top and then baked to chewy, crispity, tumescent perfection. He’s a genius! You should try them! Just don’t say anything to him about his hair. He’s not fooling anyone, but we let him pretend anyway.

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Almond SugarMoms

Posted by on Jun 18, 2012 in Featured, Seasonal Cookies, Uncategorized | 0 comments

Almond SugarMoms

What could be more refreshing and wholesome than a mouthful of Mom? Almond SugarMoms are the very embodiment of all that is wonderful about motherhood. They’re light, but firm; tender, but a little flaky; thin, yet weighty with responsibility (and butter). The almond flavoring gives them that delicious impression of marzipan without the guilt. Buy some for your dear mother, or get some for yourself and eat them over the sink at three in the morning while you brush crumbs off the oversized t-shirt you wore for a nightgown and make up new...

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Cavalcade of Cookie Stars-Kasler!

Posted by on Jun 10, 2012 in Uncategorized, What's New? | 0 comments

Cavalcade of Cookie Stars-Kasler!

This gorgeous creature gently cupping her bountiful trays of deliciousness is Karen. She bought a tray of chocolate chip cookies for her husband, because she loves him. Do you love YOUR spouse this much? How do they know? Perhaps you should follow Karen’s fine example, hmm? Karen also purchased a tray of Satay Peanut Sauce cookies for her co-workers because they hate her. That’s what she said. Apparently, going three minutes too long makes your producer want to behead you with a flaming sword of punctuality and stuff a stopwatch...

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Cavalcade of Cookie Stars-Walt!

Posted by on Jun 7, 2012 in Uncategorized, What's New? | 0 comments

Cavalcade of Cookie Stars-Walt!

This is Walt. Walt just made his girlfriend very happy. Yesterday, Walt’s girlfriend asked him to look at our site. He did and placed an order for Chocolate Chip and Kimbunserfuckers. Today, Walt picked up his orders and tonight, Walt will be getting some. Cookies. I mean, he’ll be getting to have some cookies. Tonight. After a sensible dinner…Oh, never mind.

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Cavalcade of Cookie Stars-Gretchen!

Posted by on Jun 4, 2012 in Uncategorized, What's New? | 0 comments

Cavalcade of Cookie Stars-Gretchen!

Holy Crap, people! Gretchen placed the most AMAZING order! She ordered cookies for troop leaders, teachers, helpers–even her mom! Only one of these EIGHT trays was for her and her daughter. Look at her, lounging in all of her elfin glory, like a tiny Smaug guarding her delicious treasure. Yes, I’m mixing my Tolkien creatures in the same sentence. Fuck off. She’s cute and formidable is what I’m trying to say.

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Cavalcade of Cookie Stars-Karen!

Posted by on Jun 4, 2012 in Uncategorized, What's New? | 0 comments

Cavalcade of Cookie Stars-Karen!

Why does Karen look so amazing? Did she do something different with her hair? New shirt? No, it’s the cookies she’s holding. One batch of Oatmeal, Pecan & Chocolate Chip Toothfinders (she got to name them) and one batch of Mayan Chocolate. And because Karen HATES getting her picture taken almost as much as I do, I promised I would photoshop Quetzalcoatl’s headdress onto her. Not only is it a daring fashion statement, but it’s breathtakingly culturally sensitive, too. Whatever. Great taste just has a way of...

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Cavalcade of Cookie Stars-Deb!

Posted by on Jun 4, 2012 in Uncategorized, What's New? | 0 comments

Cavalcade of Cookie Stars-Deb!

Deb ordered O’Dell Monster cookies for, appropriately enough, a baby shower. The cookies were delivered via our famous Danish Courier and she was allowed to hold them just moments after. They were then taken carefully to a special part of the kitchen where they were nursed and watched over in the hours leading up to the event. Special care was taken to make sure no small children jostled them. It was almost like they were sleeping. Ssh… Then they were messily devoured by the shower guests.

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Lemon MotherPuckers, or How to Disappoint Your Mother. Again.

Posted by on May 14, 2012 in Uncategorized, What's New? | 0 comments

Lemon MotherPuckers, or How to Disappoint Your Mother. Again.

So this was my attempt at a Mother’s day gift. Lemon infused sugar cookie roses with sugar cookie leaves using Christine Varney’s All-Purpose No-Fail Wonderful Supreme No Scour Sugar Cookie Recipe (with scrubbing bubbles!) The leaves turned out fine. I mean, really, how can you fuck those up? The roses were a different matter. The first attempts melted in the oven into, I swear to God, dog turds. If you ever need realistic edible dog turds delivered to a frienemy, I’ve got what you need. Then I figured out that if I put the...

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What do our cookies and bathtub meth have in common? Lewis Black breaks it down.

Posted by on May 10, 2012 in Uncategorized | 0 comments

The Daily Show with Jon Stewart Get More: Daily Show Full Episodes,Political Humor & Satire Blog,The Daily Show on...

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