About Connie

Connie Hansen Photo with crayfish

Crayfish are tasty, but not as tasty as Connie's cookies.

Enough with the damn cupcakes, already. I make cookies. I make really good cookies. It’s what I love to eat. It’s what I love to make. They’re one of the more perfect and useful foods on the planet. They travel well, you can stack them, freeze them, thaw them, microwave them, pack them in your purse, and slip them between your buttcheeks to tease hippos at the zoo. (They hate this.)

Can a cupcake do all this? I think not.

I’m not posting pictures of my kids, or our house, or Niels, or our kitchen in flowery perfection because you can get that shit anywhere. And those people probably look a lot better, too.

Also, if my language offends anyone, I’m really fucking sorry. I’m a vulgar person and bad language makes the third-grader in me giggle. It’s not going to hurt my feelings if you don’t buy my cookies. There are lots of sites with clean language, but there’s only one where you can buy a batch of KimBunserfuckers.


Currently, we are only taking orders orders for-and offering delivery to-the Columbus, Ohio area. We hope to expand our sales territory soon.